Home Run for the Kernel

click on title for link to article-

Well, I've certainly had issues with some issues of the student newspaper. This post, however, highlights something they got entirely right. They do a great job of spelling out for everyone that the U.K. basketball coach's salary does not come from tuition or taxes.

Hats off Kernel- this is a great article, and one that's apparently needed, judging the outcries from the ignorant.

One Has Nothing To Do With The Other

Fantasticly stupid article on foxnews.com. I mean, really dumb. Click the title of this blog post to read this foolishness.

This article rips the decision to hire Coach Calipari as irresponsible in a climate where the state of Kentucky and its namesake University have to make budget cuts. However, the funding for U.K.'s basketball program has nothing to do with taxpayer money, tuition, or anything else that is taking a hit right now. Instead, it has everything to do with U.K.'s athletic department. That departmetnt is rolling in money. So much so, that they routinely give the University's president money to spend on academic endevours. I repeat- money from U.K.'s athletic department helps FUND the academic side, not vice-versa.

The biggest problem with this article is that the author admits that Mitch Barnhart spelled all this out at the press conference. Since the author neither tries to refute this claim with any kind of evidence, and instead goes on trying to prove his faulty thesis, I wonder how stupid the writer is.

He acts like this is akin to failing companies paying their C.E.O.s tons of money. But again, the University of Kentucky's athletic department is not a failing company! It's a crazy-good successful company that makes tons of money.

Sorry I can't be funnier about this, but this really pisses me off and I'm tired of seeing these uninformed articles that are written with a preconceived belief in mind that will not change even when confronted with evidence to the contrary.

Center of Wildcat Universe?

Monday, January 26th - All is well in the Big Blue Nation. UK is 5-0 in the SEC, and looking like the clear favorite to win the conference title and receive a high seed in the NCAA tournament.

Tuesday, January 27th - The Ice Storm of 2009 ravages the Bluegrass, causing power outages throughout the state. The western portion of the state, including the house pictured above, loses electricity. The Wildcats also go ice cold, dropping their first SEC game to lowly Ole Miss. In the post game interview, Ole Miss Coach Andy Kennedy confirms that his wife is sexually frustrated.

Saturday, Jauary 31st - Electricity remains out for most of Western Kentucky. A state of emergency is issued by the governor. UK loses to South Carolina in Rupp Arena.

Tuesday, February 3 - Most of the state has regained electricity. The house above has not, and the Wildcats drop their third straight to Mississippi State.

Tuesday. February 10th - The ice has melted away. UK's lead in the SEC has also disappeared. The house above is still without power, and the Wildcats are feared to be powerless against visiting Florida.

Tuesday, February 10th (8:30 p.m.) - Power is restored to the house just before game time. The Wildcats are victorious against Florida, energizing the Big Blue Nation.

Ice Storm 2009

Small Monkey Businesses?

An unidentified primate ushered in Halloween spirity to several University of Kentucky students Friday afternoon.

No one knows where the beast came from, but he was sporting a Wildcat Textbooks shopping basket and dispensing candy in the middle of Limestone Street, which intersects campus.

Most students were receptive to the ground-dwelling herbivore's offers. His generosity lasted about 15 minutes, then he was gone, never to be seen again.

Is It Me, Or Is This Creepy For Even The Student Newspaper?

What the hell is the matter with me? I used to be the kind of guy that would get over-served on adult beverages once every five years and then think it was a good idea to roll into a 'Gentlemen's Club' giggling like a 'Tickle Me Elmo' doll whilst drinking six dollar beers and ogling boobies. Now, I see an article in U.K.'s student newspaper and I go all Second Wave Feminist. (CLICK ON THE TITLE OF THIS ENTRY FOR FULL ARTICLE)

You see, I thought stripping was viewed by many as the objectification of women. Especially viewed this way by young, progressive women. You know, the kind you find at a university. Like the University of Kentucky, for instance. However, I am not sure of that anymore.

If you click on the link above, you'll find a story that was on the front page of the Kentucky Kernel October 30, written by a young college woman. In a nutshell she says that if you are a young college woman and need money for college, you should, like, definitely give stripping a go.

The newspaper interviewed a college student/stripper and found that -"She could go to work in the evening, attend classes during the day, use a fun fake name, play dress up and dance on a stage."

Shit, that sounds like something my daughter would like to do.

What? You have to take your clothes off too?

Er, nevermind.

Look, I don't think strip clubs are the bane of society. But to publish an article so pro-stripping makes me wonder why Deja Vu doesn't have a table set up at U.K.'s career day.

Maybe they're afraid company representatives will start dancing on it. Ba dum dum.

But seriously folks, there is nary a negative point made by the author, which surprises me because its fairly common knowledge that Strip Club clientele often include a few creeps here and there, while there's enough cocaine around to make Antonio Montana nervous.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't girls go to college so they can find a job with a better professional environment than stripping? Should college women find this article offensive?

Oh, and before I sign off, I should point out that this wonderful article does not just dole out money making tips to college women. Guys can make some quick cash too, as long as they're willing to donate sperm. My favorite part is when they describe the sperm donation process as "painless". Seriously, it says that, you should read it.

UPDATE- Now with a better picture!

Just a better picture, but the message is still clear - Vol fans = nutjobs!

What A Volunteer!

What the hell kind of person would make a false claim about being attacked by a minority supporter of the Democratic Presidential candidate?

Why, a Tennessee fan, that's who!

Out in the distance, a Wildcat did growl.

Fans have begun camping out for Saturday's Big Blue Madness ticket distribution. The tent city is enveloping Memorial. Last night several players visited the campers, including Kevin Galloway and Darius Miller. Today, Coach Gillispie stopped by to say hello.

Sales Tax on Complaining, Not on Textbooks

As Americans, it is our god-given right to complain about things we don't like. When Benjamin Franklin wrote the Second Amendment, he knew good and well that people would complain about others walking around with bear arms. First of all, people just look stupid in bear arms, even if it is your Halloween costume. Beyond that, anyone that would wear bear arms is probably a communist.

I like to complain about things too. When George Bush leaves office, I'm going to be a little bit bummed. Complaining about W's nescient presidency has been a staple of my adult political chatter.

Everyone has something they like to complain about. For college students, it's the price of textbooks. As a college bookstore manager, I absolutely agree with students; textbooks are ridiculously expensive. If the price of textbooks was the end-all, cure-all, however, Wildcat Textbooks would be the biggest store on campus, not the smallest. There are books used this semester that Wildcat Textbooks was over $100.00 cheaper than UK Bookstore, but UK Bookstore probably sold more.

However, most innocent complaints often have very complex answers. For example, high gas prices. We don't care why; we just want the price to go back down. As often is the case, the person complaining really has no interest in the reason why or who is really to blame. A recent USA Today Gallup Poll found that 98 percent of the people who complain about anything don't really care as to the cause of their beef. That's why mad cow disease was so devastating in Europe.

UK's Student Government President wanted to prompt state legislators to remove sales tax from textbooks. Why? Because they are too expensive. That's true. It's also true that there is no sales tax on textbooks, but maybe there should be on mindless complaining.

If you really want to know why textbooks are expensive, I would be happy to tell you. If you have four hours to discuss it, let me know. When your eyes start glazing after fifteen minutes, there is only one thing I can say -- George Bush is a stupid-head.

Funny, Funny, Funny

To the left you'll see an editorial cartoon that appeared in the Kentucky Kernel a few days ago. It is funny. However, I'm afraid it is funny for reasons other than the artist intended.

Let me explain.

I feel the artist is implying that the tution hike that U.K. has levied on its students is paying for the Rupp Arena expansion and the new U.K. Law Building. The question the 'everyman' student depicted in the cartoon asks is that of a rhetorical nature.

Pretty perceptive on my part, huh? Bear with me-

The thing with most rhetoric questions is that the answers should be assumed to be a known truth- most of the time a 'yes' answer. This is an example of a 'rhetorical affirmation' (thank you, wikipedia) - A rhetorical question that intends the communication of "yes, of course". I.E., "yes, of course" my tuition increase is there to pay for Rupp Arena expansion and the new Law Building. Yes. Of course.

HA, Mr. Cartoon-guy- that's funny because it's true! That damned ole U.K. jacking up my rent to pay for some pretty buildings. Screw them and their money-grubbing ways. What's next? A new fountain in the President's yard?

The problem with the artist's joke is that 0% of U.K. students' 9% tuition increase goes to either one of these projects. Do you know how I know that? Because 0% of the total tuition students pay goes towards those projects. That's right, the question the artist apparently expected would receive a resounding 'yes' (or at least a "huh, I bet it does go to that" ) instead gets a resounding 'no'.

That's why I think it's funny. Because it's so ill-informed that I have to laugh at the stupidity of one who would mock an institution of higher learning for its supposed frivolous tuition increases while citing examples that have nothing to do with tuition money from that university.

The Rupp Arena expansion is a city project. Complain about your city taxes if you want, but don't insinuate that the university that has a basketball team that plays there somehow is responsible for paying for a building it doesn't own. That's so obvious I didn't even look it up. Hell, if you really want to blame someone for Rupp Arena's expansion, blame Brad Paisley- he has concerts there all the time and his songs suck.

The Law Building, however, required exhaustive research on my part. This included a google-fueled trip to this website - http://www.uky.edu/Law/alumni/building_fund.html , where I found this statement - "The College is raising private donations in the amount of $13,000,000 to match the $52,000,000 commitment of state funds for the $65,000,000 project."

I was fairly sure that 'private' meant 'no U.K. tuition money'. But what about 'state funds'? Since not 100% sure I was forced to call a buddy that works for U.K. to make sure that I read that right. No tuition to build the new Law Building! He confirmed my suspicion, and after a full 38.2 seconds of digging around, I had my answer.

So, it is very funny to me that a guy would draw a cartoon making fun of the reasons for U.K.'s tuition hike when those reasons don't exist.

Spring 2008 Textbook Price Comparison

Wildcat Textbooks vs. UK Bookstore

A-H 105 Art Across Time, Vol. 1 Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $74.25

ACC 201 Financial Accounting Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $132.00

ACC 202 Managerial Accounting Wildcat - $119.95 UK - $124.50

ACC 300 Financial Reporting & Analysis Wildcat - $119.95 UK - $139.25

ACC 324 Accounting Information Systems Wildcat - $29.95 UK - $98.00

ANT 160 Dobe Ju/Hoansi Wildcat - $19.95 UK - $24.75

AST 192 Voyages to the Stars & Galaxies Wildcat - $59.95 UK - $64.25

BIO 102 Living in the Environment Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $109.50

BIO 308 Microbiology Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $125.25

CE 106 Engineering Design Graphics Wildcat - $89.95 UK - $93.00

CHE 105 Chemistry Wildcat - $109.95 UK - $132.50

CHE 108 General, Organic, & Biochemistry Wildcat - $79.95 UK - $118.50

CHE 236 Organic Chemistry Wildcat - $39.95 UK - $105.25

COM 181 Confident Public Speaking Wildcat - $87.95 UK - $106.75

COM 252 Interplay Wildcat - $49.95 UK - $54.75

DIS 300 Foundations of Operations Mgmt. Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $99.00

ECO 101 Economic Way of Thinking Wildcat - $84.95 UK - $93.00

ECO 201 Microeconomics Wildcat - $64.95 UK - $90.00

ECO 391 Stats for Mgmt & Economics Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $110.00

EDP 202 Educational Psychology Wildcat - $84.95 UK - $89.00

EPE 301 Justice, Ideology, & Education Wildcat - $59.95 UK - $69.50

FIN 300 Essentials of Corporate Finance Wildcat - $90.50 UK - $96.75

FIN 423 International Financial Management Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $119.25

GEO 130 Elemental Geosystems Wildcat - $59.95 UK - $75.00

GEO 160 Diversity Amid Globalization Wildcat - $49.95 UK - $88.50

GLY 120 Resources of Earth Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $83.25

HIS 104 Sources of the West, Vol. 1 Wildcat - $39.95 UK - $42.75

HIS 108 American History, Vol.1 Wildcat - $64.95 UK - $77.25

ISC 161 Advertising & Promotion Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $123.00

MA 108 Intermediate Algebra Wildcat - $39.95 UK - $43.50

MA 109 College Algerbra Wildcat - $44.95 UK - $48.75

MGT 320 Fund. of Human Resource Mgmt. Wildcat - $69.95 UK - $81.00

MGT 340 Law, Business, & Society Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $117.00

MKT 300 Marketing Wildcat - $89.95 UK - $123.75

MKT 310 Consumer Behavior Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $145.50

PHI 120 Concise Intro to Logic Wildcat - $29.95 UK - $90.50

PHY 211 Enhanced College Physics Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $145.50

PS 210 Good Society Wildcat - $49.95 UK - $54.00

PSY 100 Exploring Psychology Wildcat - $54.95 UK - $58.25

PSY 223 Developmental Psychology Wildcat - $99.95 UK - $104.75

STA 200 Statistics: Concepts & Controversies Wildcat - $59.95 UK - $63.00

UK 101 Your College Experience Wildcat - $29.95 UK - $34.25

You Can't Hide Money

If you click on this blog title you can check out a story at uky.edu about the big U.K. Bookstore renovation coming this fall. According to the article, "The renovation and expansion is scheduled for completion in November 2008 at a cost of $3.1 million."

That's right, folks. $3.1 million smackeroos.

That's a whole lotta cash to throw around in today's world of inflation, rising tuition costs, and lest we forget - rising textbook costs. But, don't worry. Mega-giant corporation Follett Higher Education runs the U.K. Bookstore and is picking up the tab, not U.K. A look at the price comparison on this very blog shows that U.K. Bookstore is probably not hurting for money in today's troubled times, so don't worry your pretty head about that part.

So, what's all the moolah going toward? Shorter lines? More efficient means of buying back books than scanning books at one counter then sending a customer to wait at another counter before finally giving up the dough?

Nope.

They're promising more square footage for the essentials of college life like, "seating so that the community can spend time browsing the books and magazines." Good thing, because I remember hearing several people at the Community Center last Sunday say that they wished they could sit in the campus bookstore and browse the Math section or look through the July edition of "Guns & Ammo".

I don't know which group I'm more scared of, by the way.

One thing's for certain- there will be a response from Wildcat Textbooks. Just last week, we found an unopened gallon of paint that had been here for over a year and parlayed that, along with 8 dollars worth of drywall, into a brand new dressing room. Sure, if it rains it may leak a little through the roof, but that's only when it rains hard. And that's just the start. In addition to cleaning the windows and mopping the floors every week, we pledge to have the staff shower just as often.

While these cosmetic changes at Wildcat may not entice the community to come in and read our GER 201 textbooks, they will come in about 3.0999999999999999 million dollars less than U.K. Bookstore's cosmetic changes and allow us to continue to sell books for astonishingly less than the campus bookstore.

Wildcat Textbooks- selling books for less instead of flaunting our price-gouging ways with unnecessary building expansions. That's our whole philosophy.

Tayshaun Makes Olympic Team

http://freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080619/SPORTS03/80619058/0/SPORTS03

Billy Clyde on the Recruiting Trail

People bitched and moaned that Tubby waited too long to recruit kids. Gillispie recruits them too early. Finally someone from ESPN, of all places, actually gives our coach some props for what he has done.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/recruiting/basketball/mens/news/story?id=3403559

Lexington Herald MisLeader Article

The following is a link to an article which was published in Sunday's Herald Leader. The article takes a look back at Gillispie's first year as head coach and also addresses many of the notorious rumors.


http://www.kentucky.com/276/story/408374.html

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Buyback

In an effort to increase the miniscule textbook buyback at Wildcat, we sent our army of collegiate droids to the streets. It was guerilla marketing at its finest, spitting in the eye of bureaucracy and conservative fiefdoms. The results were a resounding, fist-pounding cry of freedom to the college bookstore gods.

Flowing UK Roster

Scholarship players that will be returning or arriving for sure (we think).

1. Jodie Meeks (Junior)
2. Perry Stevenson (Junior)
3. Michael Porter (Junior)
4. Jared Carter (Junior/Senior)
5. Kevin Galloway (Junior)
6. Ramon Harris (Junior)
7. Patrick Patterson (Soph.)
8. A.J. Stewart (Soph.)
9. Josh Harrellson (Soph.)
10. Darius Miller (Frosh)

That leaves three scholarships available. Jasper (transfer) and Liggins (qualify) have two reserved for them. I feel like Jasper is probably going to transfer. So lets say that Liggins qualifies.

That leaves two scholarships available. Here are the possibilities in order of UK's chance (in my guestimation):

1. Bobby Maze - Juco PG - Good scorer. Committed to Maryland, but couldn't go because of grade issues. Looking at UK and Cincinatti. Update: Maze Committs to UT.

2. Paul McCoy - PG, would be a freshman. Rumored to be down to UK and Virginia. If Maze committs to UK, McCoy is probably out. Update: McCoy Committs to SMU.

3. Maurice Sutton - PF, would be a freshman. UK has not offered. Sutton probably would committ to UK upon invitation. IU has offered, as well as some other eastern schools. With the committment of Harrellson, Sutton probably will not be offered.

Are we done for this year?

Cats in the NBA

I found this info on the Catspause and thought it was pretty interesting. This is how much these former Cats in the NBA make:

*Jamal Magloire (Mavericks) $231,000

Tayshaun Prince (Pistons) $8,675,620

Rajon Rondo (Celtics) $1,229,280

Keith Bogans (Magic) $2,440,000

Antoine Walker (Twolves) $8,329,640

Randolph Morris (Knicks) $810,000

Derek Anderson (Bobcats) $770,610

Nazr Mohammed (Bobcats) $5,632,200

Keleena Azubuike (Warriors) $687,456

Chuck Hayes (Rockets) $1,750,000

Jamal Magloire's number is a obviously not correct. Someone suggested that a previous team is paying the rest of Magloire's salary.

Rondo looks to be the best player for the money, with Antoine Walker as the worst. Rajon will undoubtedly be getting a big pay raise when his contract comes up.

Earthquake Rocks the Bluegrass

An earthquake rocked the Bluegrass in the wee hours of the morning, measuring a 5.4 on the Mark Richter Scale. Trimmers were said to be felt from Paducah to Maysville. The most significant damage occurred in the Louisville metro area. The largest structure in Louisville, Rick Pitino's ego, was said to have sustained no major damage. Although, bystanders did say a couple hair plugs were shaken loose.