A Letter In The Kentucky Kernel

The following is a letter to the editor that appeared in our fair University's student newspaper on Friday, January 11. I will run it in its entirety with my own comments in blue at the appropriate times.

This style of e-commentary is based on firejoemorgan.com, a very entertaining blog.

Away we go-


Eliminate UK Athletics Department to save money

In 2003, Vanderbilt University eliminated its athletics department on the basis that athletics had gotten too far away from the university's core mission: academics.

Good for them. A few things I know about Vandy - it's an expensive school, it's gym sucks, and a woman that ranks as one of the smartest, prettiest, and kindest in the world graduated from there.

Today, the Commodores' men's basketball team is 16-0 and ranks 13th in the nation according to The Associated Press, while the Wildcats, with their highly paid athletics department administrators and gold-plated practice facilities, are 6-7.

"gold-plated practice facilities" - I get it- UK's new practice facility is fancy and by god the program is not living up to it. Now, I'm starting to detect a little bitterness here, but let's go on a little further-

The solution to UK's budget problems seems simple to me: instead of raising student tuition again - a devastating proposal that will hurt UK's drive to a top-20 ranking - UK should follow Vanderbilt's lead and eliminate its athletics department.

So, this fellow thinks that if UK gets rid of the athletic department there will be more money for the university.

The problem with that thinking is the university pays nothing toward the athletic department.

The athletic department is 100% self-sustaining - something I found out in 2.34 seconds after doing a google search. 3.4 seconds later I found out that the athletic department gives UK president Lee Todd a minimum of one million dollars for non-athletic scholarships and other campus funding per year.

Let me repeat- not only does the athletic department cost the university nothing to run, it actually gives the university a minimum of one million dollars a year.

Doing so would not only save money,

Doing so would cost over a million dollars a year,

it would be a huge boost to the morale of UK professors who have long resented UK's emphasis on athletics.

This may be partially true, since some in the academic world may not care much about sports. But by and large the faculty I know pretty much cheer for their current employer, as well as their alma maters' sports teams. I don't know how huge a boost to their morale it would be to get rid of the athletic department, but if we did and the minimum of one million dollars a year was lost every year, some of them may be out of jobs and have their morale significantly un-boosted.

Vanderbilt is a fine school for UK to emulate

True. Vandy is a fine school to copy- why, one of their graduates is a person I know to be one of the finest human beings in the world. They also are ranked as the 26th best university in the country by the Times of London and 19th by U.S. News and World Reports.

- and they have proven that they can still be winners on the court.

Damn right they've proven it on the court. Vandy's basketball team has 7 NCAA championships, has more wins than any other team in the history of the NCAA, and has... oh, wait.

Those are UK's numbers.

Vandy has, uh, well they're off to a good start this year. I'll take a wait and see on emulating their basketball program, if you don't mind.

(name withheld by the goat)

Lexington resident